Weddings

Funny Wedding Readings

Your wedding day is a serious day but that doesn’t mean to say you can’t have some fun with funny wedding readings! In fact, many couples are choosing to replace one or more of the romantic readings with something more relevant. It can help to make your wedding day memorable and avoid anyone getting too emotional.  

A wedding doesn’t need to be a formal occasion, the modern ceremony should reflect you and your passions. Whether you’re designing the wedding order of service or writing a speech, adding funny wedding readings can really help to break up the monotony of the day and help everyone to enjoy themselves.

After all, they say laughter is the best medicine and what better way is there to start your married life together!

Of course, you’ll need to find funny wedding readings that will appeal to the wide majority of the wedding party. The aim is for the readings to be funny, not offensive. If you get the balance right the funny readings can really help to lower your stress levels, which must be a good thing.

To help you get inspired and create the ultimate wedding order of service, try the following funny wedding readings:

The Owl & The Pussy Cat by Edward Lear

“The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green boat. 

They took some honey, and plenty of money wrapped up in a five-pound note. 

The Owl looked up to the stars above and sang to a small guitar, “O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love, what a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are!

What a beautiful Pussy you are!”

The prose continues, you can take as much as you want for your wedding reading, but the crux of the matter is the owl and the pussy-cat was in love and that love will stay true regardless of where they go.

It may look peculiar listed on your wedding order of service but it’s sure to raise a smile or two.

When Harry Met Sally

You can’t go wrong with a quote from one of the most famous, romantic, and funny movies of all time. When Harry finally realizes he’s in love with Sally he makes a heartfelt speech to enlighten her, perhaps he’s preparing for his own wedding! 

“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich….” 

Again, you can choose how long you want to make this funny wedding reading. Add a video in the background and you’ll see smiles across your wedding party.

Us Two from Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne

Winnie the Pooh is becoming a popular wedding reading, you may be surprised by how often it appears on the wedding order of service!

There’s a good reason for this, many of Pooh’s quotes are funny with deep meaning. For example, consider adding the following to your wedding ceremony:

“ So wherever I am, there’s always a Pooh. There’s always Pooh and Me.”

Add it to the right point in your wedding order of service and you won’t have a dry eye in the house!

How Does That Sound by Simon Armitage

“Let me put it this way: if you came to lay your sleeping head against my arm or sleeve, and if my arm went dead, or if I had to take my leave at midnight, I should rather cleave it from the joint or seam than make a scene or bring you round. There, how does that sound?”

If you or your groom like practical jokes you can add a visual effect to really boost the humor in this particular reading.

In truth, this can be one of the best funny wedding readings, but it also has a deep and powerful message which reflects the love of two people on their wedding day.

Yes I’ll Marry You My Dear by Pam Ayres

If you want to make a funny speech to your groom on your wedding day this is the one to pick. It’s humorous and a little satirical which means you’ll hit the right note with all your wedding guests:

“Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, and here’s the reason why.

So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry.

And if we hear a knocking and it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, and you investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it, but when the tumble-drier goes, it’s you that has to mend it.

You have to face the neighbour should our labrador attack him, and if a drunkard fondles me, it’s you that has to whack him.

Yes, I’ll marry you, you’re virile and you’re lean. My house is like a pigsty, you can help to keep it clean.

That sexy little dinner which you served by candlelight, as I do chipolatas, you can cook it every night!!!

It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, and when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak.

I do see great advantages, but none of them for you, and so before you see the light, I DO, I DO, I DO!”

Oh The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

With brains in your head and feet in your shoes, you’re certain to be confused and amused on your wedding day. But, the sentiment is good and filming the reaction of your wedding guests can be even more fun! 

I Rely On You by Hovis Presley

This reading is all about relying on each other which is a great sentiment for your wedding day and the start of your new life together.

But, add it to your wedding order of service and you’ll help your wedding guests to understand the seriousness of this humor. It is possible to have both on your wedding day!

Relativity by Albert Einstein

This may not bring the house down with laughter but it’s a humorous, relevant, and thoughtful addition to your wedding ceremony. 

“Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”

It’s hard to argue with such a great mind and it will certainly add credence to your wedding order of service!

Final Thoughts

Introducing some humor to your wedding day through funny readings is a great way to break the ice and any tension between guests. It can also ensure the groom and other speech givers are a little more relaxed, which will help their part in your wedding day go well!

In addition, adding part of the funny reading to the wedding order of service will help your guests to know your wedding is not strictly traditional, they’re going to enjoy it and it will be fun! 

But, as with anything wedding related, never forget this is your wedding day. If you want the wedding order of service to be humorous from start to finish that is your decision. You’re probably only planning to get married once, make sure it’s a day you’ll remember forever, for all the right reasons.

Also, check out these best non religious wedding readings.

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