Getting The Right Wedding Speech Order

Anastasia

5 years ago

If you’re ready to tie the knot then you’re ready to start thinking about the wedding speech order. Of course a wedding is a time to celebrate and enjoy the union of two people. However, you probably know it takes a lot of effort and organization before the day to ensure everything runs smoothly.

This means there is plenty of room for things to go wrong, which is why you need to plan every detail of your wedding, from your vows to the order of wedding speeches. Knowing what is happening will reduce your stress levels and allow you to enjoy your wedding day.

Of course, it’s not just you that will be stressed, everyone giving a wedding speech will be anxious for it to go well. For this reason, it’s a good idea to have the wedding speech order written down before the service starts, ensuring everyone knows what they need to be doing and hen.

It should be noted that the following is the traditional order of wedding speeches, you can alter this to fit your own needs. After all, it’s your wedding day!

Traditional Wedding Speech Order

Father Of the Bride

Tradition dictates that the father of the bride gives the first speech, his role is generally the most formal, although there is always room for a little humor in any wedding speech.

The father of the bride should take responsibility for the following:

Thanking all the wedding guests for coming and remind them that he is delighted to see them all. A joke about them enjoying his hospitality is always a good option.
Toasting to those that couldn’t make the wedding and reminding everyone who they are. Just because someone couldn’t make your wedding doesn’t mean they’re not important.
This speech should welcome the groom into the family.
Take responsibility for telling the bride how radiant they look on their wedding day. A few anecdotes about the bride are also good, as is a heartfelt expression of love.

This is the part of the speech that will move the wedding guests to tears, confirming the speech has been delivered perfectly.

The father of the bride usually finishes with a few words about why the bride and groom are so well matched and then starts the wedding toasts.

Groom

Next, in the traditional wedding speech order is the groom. The groom’s wedding speech is generally short, although there is a room for a joke or two.

A traditional groom wedding speech will follow this pattern:

Thank the father of the bride and return the toast to the father and mother of the bride.
Acknowledge the wedding guests, particularly their wedding gifts. It’s not a good idea to single any specific wedding gifts out.
Offer thanks to both sets of parents for their involvement in the wedding and upbringing of both the groom and the bride.
A good groom will also take this opportunity to share with their wedding guests just how much their new wife means to them. Giving her a compliment on her wedding day is a great idea!
Presents. An important part of the wedding speech order is passing out presents to the bridesmaids and other key members of the wedding party. It doesn’t hurt to give a few compliments.
The groom should end with a toast to the bride’s parents, thanking them for hosting the wedding day celebrations. Of course, if the wedding has been funded by both sets of parents the thanks and acknowledgment needs to go to both!

Check out some templates and tips on writing the groom speech.

The Best Man

In the traditional order of wedding speeches, the best man’s speech will wrap up the wedding day speeches, allowing the wedding guests to carry on enjoying the day.

The best man’s speech can be the most nerve-racking, especially for the best man; this is because they are expected to deliver some humor, which can be difficult when you don’t know all of the target audience.

In his speech the best man will:

Thank the bridesmaids again, echoing the groom but perhaps adding his own take on the presence of the bridesmaids at the wedding. It’s a good opportunity t break the ice with a joke.
Give his compliments to the bride and groom. Traditionally the bride doesn’t get a roasting although she may get some humorous sympathy for having chosen to marry the groom.
Share unknown stories about the groom. This can be the hardest part of the speech as the best man will want to share the groom’s exploits but it must be done in a way that is fun and doesn’t offend.

It can be a difficult balance to get, especially if the wedding party covers a wide age range.

The best man also gets to read out the wedding messages from guests who couldn’t make it. If there are a large number of people who couldn’t make the wedding you may want to consider reading just a selection of them or simply listing the wedding guests names.
To the best man’s relief, they can finish their wedding speech with a final toast to the bride and groom. At this point, they have hopefully had all the wedding guests laughing and their job is done.

Extras

The order of the speeches is not set in stone. As usual, it is important to remember that this is your wedding day and you can choose your own wedding speech order.

As such, you may want to indulge in a more modern wedding tradition, the bride’s speech. This can join the groom’s speech in the wedding speech order, or the bride can choose to give a separate speech, thanking the wedding guests, her parents, and the bridesmaids.

The bride can even tell her own wedding anecdote about the groom if they wish!

If you decide to do an individual wedding speech it is customary to add this speech into the wedding speech order just after the groom. It makes it easier for the bride to make fun of the groom without repercussions!

Maid Of Honor

In some cases, the maid of honour at your wedding also feels the need to give a small speech. It works in a similar way to the best man’s speech, giving the wedding maid of honour an opportunity to tell some funny stories about the bride.

If the maid of honour is included in the wedding speech order they should complement the ushers on how good they look before toasting the wedding, bride, and groom.

Traditional this speech slides in before the groom in the order of wedding speeches. It can actually help to set the stage for the groom!

Timing The Speeches

It’s very easy for any wedding to run longer than it should which is why it’s important to think about the best wedding speech order and when the speeches should be given. Tradition dictates the wedding speeches are given straight after dinner, essentially wrapping up the more formal side of the wedding. It also helps to ensure the wedding guests are relaxed as they have eaten and drunk.

But, this is your wedding day and you can choose any wedding speech order you wish. You can even space the wedding speeches out through the meal if you think it will work best that way.

However, it is important to determine how each person will end their speech, especially if the next person is talking straight after. There will be no doubt when one wedding speech has finished and the next is due to start.

You should also consider chatting to the other speakers before the wedding day, you don’t want to bore your wedding guests by telling the same anecdotes as someone else!

Also, read this guide on choosing the wedding order of service.

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Anastasia

Marketing Manager at Poptop – UK Leading Events Planning Concierge Service